Thoughts From the Valley
October 12, 2009
The Hangover
How I am feeling: Outstanding. Again. Not so much because My Beloved Penn State Nittany Lions cruised to a relatively pointless 52-3 win over something called “Eastern Illinois,” but rather because of what Young Jack just did on the hallowed soccer grounds of Springfield Township. Three goals, folks. Three! As in, the only three goals scored by his team all day. Final score? 3-3. An improvement over last week’s 3-0 drubbing at the hands of the dreaded “red team.”
What I am drinking: A vodka martini with jalapeno-stuffed olives. Official cocktail of TCFA. Yes, I know it's Sunday. But come on. I mean, my son just scored three freaking goals, folks. I will celebrate in style.
What I am listening to: Drive By Truckers, Decoration Day. After seeing this guy offer up The Most Enthusiastic Drive By Truckers Review Ever, I delved back into my DBT collection and pulled out Decoration Day, My No. 7 Album of All Time. From "Sink Hole" to "Outfit," from "My Sweet Annette" to "(Something's Got To) Give Pretty Soon," it is Southern brilliance from start to finish.
My thoughts on the weekend: Half over.
Yes, the 2009 season is now half-over, folks.
And because we are now at the season’s midpoint—and also because I don’t have anything else, really, to write about—I am going to use this space today to offer you a few quick-hitting thoughts about The Season Thus Far.
Sorry for not being any more creative. I’m just a little distracted. You know, with the three goals and such.
Here goes:
1. Alabama will win the national championship.
2. Alabama will beat Florida by two touchdowns in the SEC Championship Game.
3. Arkansas is going to throw a scare into Florida next week. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if the Razorbacks won. The game is at The Swamp, yes. But Florida’s offense is half of what it was last year (well, maybe less than half). If Ryan Mallett and that Razorbacks offense can get anything going early, well, watch out. It will be Ole Miss 2008 all over again.
4. Speaking of Ole Miss .. . they are terrible.
5. Eric Decker, not Julio Jones or A.J. Green, is the best wideout in the country.
6. Five games into the season, I don’t know what to make of Texas.
7. Six games into the season, I don’t know what to make of Penn State.
8. Willie Martinez is done at Georgia. That defense is a disaster.
9. It pains me to say it, but I’m pretty sure Ohio State is the best team in the Big Ten. That defensive line is sick.
10. Notre Dame will beat USC this week. Which means Jimmy Clausen will win the Suzuki Heisman Trophy.
Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust
Three ...: Tim Tebow is not the best quarterback in the country. He's just the most clutch player I've ever seen. And therein lies his greatness. True, his numbers aren’t great: 777 passing yards, seven touchdowns, 309 rushing yards, five touchdowns. But as ESPN.com SEC writer Chris Low said (wisely) last week, there are about eight to ten plays in every game—3rd and 2, for example, or 4th and goal from the 1—when Tebow is, hands down, the best player on the field, the best player in the country and, quite possibly, the best there ever was. If Florida needs a first down to seal the deal, this kid gets it done almost every time. Except against Ole Miss. At home.
Two ...: Here’s what Penn State outside linebacker Sean Lee did in 2007: 138 tackles, 10.5 tackles for loss, three sacks, three forced fumbles, three fumble recoveries, one interception. Here’s what Penn State outside linebacker Navorro Bowman did in 2008: 106 tackles, 16.5 tackles for loss, two forced fumbles, one interception, five pass breakups. And here’s what sucks: Because of various injuries, these guys have played, maybe, one quarter of football together. Ever. That should change this week when Penn State takes on Minnesota. Sean Lee at one outside linebacker spot. Navorro Bowman at the other. Good luck, Gophers.
One ...: Great lede by Tim Tucker of the Atlanta Journal Constitution in his game story about Georgia’s 45-19 loss to Tennessee. Wrote Tucker: “Through the first five games of an erratic season, Georgia's football team had a way of playing well on offense when it played poorly on defense, and vice versa. Saturday, the Bulldogs put it all together -- all bad.” What on God’s name has happened down there in Athens? Tough times for Unsouthern Southern Guy Brian M. Schleter.
Touchdown ...: Oklahoma vs. Texas. This Saturday. The best rivalry in the country (for now, at least). Sam Bradford vs. Colt McCoy. Bob Stoops vs. Mack Brown. The Cotton Bowl. The Texas State Fair. Noon, ABC. It should be great. Right? Um, wrong. Final score according to Your Editor: Texas 41, Oklahoma 17. Because the Sooners really aren't very good.