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Thoughts From the Valley

October 26, 2009

The Hangover

How I am feeling: On top of the world, folks. My Beloved Penn State Nittany Lions just snapped a five-game losing streak at the Big House with a 35-10 beatdown of the Michigan Wolverines. And Young Jack just scored three more goals in Our Unnamed Soccer Team's 3-2 win over Some Unnamed Opponent. If you're keeping score, folks, Our Unnamed Soccer Team has scored six goals in its past two games. All six goals were scored by Young Jack.

What I am drinking: Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. Anniversary Ale. I try to support the "little guys" when I can, and I don't think Sierra Nevada qualifies as a "little guy" anymore. By my local beer distributor had this stuff on special, and so I picked up a case on a whim. Good decision, folks. Powerful beer. Good beer. And the first time I bought it, we beat Michigan at the Big House. It's officially in the rotation.

What I am listening to: Neko Case, Middle Cyclone. Partially because her voice is, as I mentioned on Friday, the greatest voice in the world. Partially because she's the angel of alt-country. And partially because I have a minor crush on her. Sorry, Mrs. Your Editor.

My thoughts on the weekend: So my Friday column, in which I blasted the people who are rigging college football (sorry, it's the truth, folks; and Your Editor only speaks the truth), has generated quite a bit of response.

Some of you agree with me.

Some of you think I'm exaggerating.

Some of you think I'm an idiot.

And because I don't like it when people think I'm an idiot, I am today going to throw at you the following True Statements, which reinforce the central argument that I made on Friday—that some teams have an inherent advantage over other teams in the national championship race, based on either their history and/or reputation or their conference affilation.

True Statement No. 1: USC is the only Pac-10 team each season that can get into the BCS Mythical National Championship Game with a loss. The only one. Cal can't. Oregon can't. Oregon State can't. Why? Answer: Bias.

True Statement No. 2: If you're a one-loss team from the SEC of Big 12 (or if you're USC), you can still play for the national title. If you're one-loss team from any other conference, you can't play for the national title. Why? Answer: Bias.

True Statement No. 3: If Iowa wore different uniforms or played in the SEC or Big 12, they would be ranked at least No. 3 in the human polls. The Hawkeyes have played a touger schedule than 'Bama, Florida or Texas. They have not lost to a 3-5 Washington team, like USC has. And yet the Hawkeyes--a team that has now won 12 straight games, by the way, including a beatdown of an SEC team last season--are ranked behind every other major-conference undefeated team. And USC. And Boise State. Why? Answer: Bias.

Well, folks, there you go.

If any of you would like to try and refute those three True Statements, please do.

I mean, you can't do it.

But feel free to try.

I am available at youreditor@tcfaonline.com.

Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust

Three ...: As you know, folks, I have no faith in the voters, because they are uninformed and biased. So those polls? They're worthless, too. Untrustworthy. Inaccurate. So if you want to know The Real Top 10, well, here it is: 1. Alabama; 2. Iowa; 3. Texas; 4. TCU; 5. Florida; 6. Cincinnati; 7. Boise State; 8. Georgia Tech; 9. USC; 10. Penn State.

Two ...: There has been much debate up in Michigan as to whether Former Michigan Coach Lloyd 'Grumpy' Carr has been sufficiently supportive Current Michigan Coach And Snake-Oil Salesman Wearing a Wizard's Hat Rich Rodriguez. In fact, there was a big story in the Detroit News this week, detailing the schism among "Michigan Men" regarding the whole alleged Carr-Rodriguez "feud" and the ongoing controversy about Carr's silence on All Things RichRod. Well, in response to all the hubbub, Carr finally spoke out this weekend. And (surprise!) he says he fully supports Rodriguez. Said Carr: "I've had a lot of conversations with Rich Rodriguez down through the last 18, 20 months, and I told him from the beginning if he needed me for any reason, just call me. I did not want to be a coach who's at practice and hanging around and answering questions from the media about what I saw. I didn't think that was good for Rich or our program." You know what, folks? I actually trust Carr here. I don't think he wants Rodriguez to "fail." Carr has been a "Michigan Man" for the past three decades. He wants nothing but the best for the Wolverines.

One ...: Time for my weekly thoughts on My Beloved Penn State Nittany Lions. I'll say this much for Penn State Coach And Great Man Joe Paterno and his staff, folks: They have "coached this team up." The difference between how this team is playing today and how it was playing early September is, well, dramatic. The defense (even without the full-time services of Sean Lee, who legitimately could have been the greatest linebacker we ever had) is playing as well as any we've had in Happy Valley in years. Daryll Clark, who became Penn State's all-time touchdown leader with his four touchdown passes against the Wolverines, has evolved into a poised, powerful leader and extremely polished quarterback. The young receivers, especially sophomore Derek Moye, have become playmakers. And most importantly, that offensive line--the unit that was so horrible just a month ago--has finally (cliche on the way) "jelled." This team is good, folks. Legitimately good. A BCS bowl game is definitely a strong possibility.

Touchdown ...: But which BCS bowl game? And against whom? Well, I'll tell you, folks. I had a revelation on Saturday evening. And that revelation wasn't just the result of the Anniversary Ale, either. The revelation was this: Penn State is going to play Pitt in the Fiesta Bowl. The Panthers, who crushed South Florida 41-14 on Saturday, just might be the best team in the Big East, and if they knock off Cincy in early December? Well, the conference title is theirs. As for the Nits? Well, the road is a bit tougher—at Northwestern, vs. Ohio State, vs. Indiana and at Michigan State--but they should be favored in each of their remaining games. The 11-1 Nittany Lions against the 11-1 Panthers for the State Championship of Pennsylvania? The renewal of the One Of The Great Lost Rivalries In The Game? Yep, it just makes sense, folks. It just makes sense.

"What happens to everybody else has nothing to do with us, understand?"

–Saban