What We Know
Sept. 25, 2009
Three weeks have passed in the 2009 college football season, folks.
And we’ve seen quite a bit, haven’t we?
We've seen a couple stunning upsets (BYU over Oklahoma, Florida State over BYU) and a few not-so-stunning upsets (Ohio State losing to a Top 10 team, again; USC losing to an unranked team, again).
We've seen the rise of the Big East (Cincinnati and Pitt are legit, folks) and the (embarrassing) fall of the ACC (c'mon, Maryland and Virginia; and Duke).
We've seen one Suzuki Heisman Trophy candidate go down (Sam Bradford), two others struggle to regain their 2008 form (Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy), and a tailback from Cal—yes, Cal—stake an early claim to the award
We've seen Tennessee keep it close against Florida. We've seen Sparty be Sparty (again). We've seen Ole Miss, Penn State and LSU rise in the polls without having to play anybody.
So yeah, we’ve seen a lot. But here's my question: What do we know?
Well, here's what we know. At least according to Your Editor:
1. We know Florida is not nearly as good as we thought they were. Yeah, I know the Gators are 3-0. And yeah, maybe it’s unfair to criticize them for "only" beating Tennessee by 10. But you know what? I don't care. I'm going to criticize them anyway. Because you know what I see when I see the 2009 Florida Gators? I see the 2008 Ohio State Buckeyes.
2. We know the Big 12 isn't what it was last season. Oklahoma's offensive line got pushed around by a BYU defensive front that was utterly dominated by Florida State. Texas still doesn't have a tailback and I'm starting to wonder about those receivers, too. Texas Tech is average. Baylor just lost to Connecticut. Nebraska, Missouri and Kansas? Eh. The Big 12 is boring. This year, at least.
3. We know the Big Ten is pretty bad. But it's not nearly as bad as the ACC. Give me Ohio State, Penn State, Michigan and Iowa over Miami, Virginia Tech, Florida State and [insert random second-tier ACC team here]. More importantly, give me Indiana and Purdue over Virginia and Maryland. And speaking of which, what the ____ happened to Maryland?
4. We know the Big East is better than we thought it would be. I won't say any more that that because complimenting the Big East makes me uncomfortable.
5. We know Cincinnati has a legitimate shot at running the table. And we know, should that happen, that there will be much whining from the Southeast and Southwest. And Bristol (snore). Which will be a blast.
6. We know Boise State is good. Again. Even though their coach is a coward.
7. We know Big Ten Cookout on the Big Ten Network needs work. But we know Melanie Collins will come through.
8. We know the media today is as quick to overreact as ever before. Have you heard this talk about Pete Carroll being an "underachiever" at USC? Have you heard the claims that his dynasty may be "crumbling?" Jesus H. Christ, people, the guy lost one game. It happens. Does "seven straight Pac-10 championships" ring a bell? How about “90 wins in eight seasons?” Or “two national championships?”
9. We know this is the best Notre Dame offense since 2005. We also know that Jimmy Clausen is going to be in New York City (snore) for the Suzuki Heisman presentation, so you might as well get used to his weird smirking face.
10. We know Terrelle Pryor is never going to be a great quarterback. Give this guy a shotput already.
11. We know, as per my decree earlier this week, that Victory Hop Devil is the Official Beer of America's Greatest Game. So if you're not drinking it on Saturday, you're breaking the rules. I’m not asking you to drink a case, folks. Or even a six-pack. Just try one. One. Try one and I’ll never bother you again.
12. We know the SEC media mob (and The Worldwide Leader in Overhyping Things That Don't Deserve Hype) is having as hard as time as ever selling us on the SEC as a "great league." So far as I can tell, there's one "great team" in that conference: Alabama (viva SABAN). Florida is, at best, very good right now. Ole Miss is Ole Miss and will lose three games because they are Ole Miss. LSU hasn't played anybody. Oh, and here's something that nobody is talking about these days: What happened to those vaunted SEC defenses?
13. We know (or, at least, I know) that Penn State can't run the table.
14. We know that ESPN College GameDay wouldn't be nearly as fun without Lee Corso. So we know we’re lucky to have him back.
15. We know college football remains the greatest sport America has ever seen.
But we also know the 2009 season is already 25 percent complete.
So we know we better enjoy it while it lasts.
And that's all we know, folks.
Onward.
Week 4, here we come.
Out And About: News And Notes You May Have Missed
• As I mentioned over on the previous page, it’s been a rough week for USC coach Pete “The Devil” Carroll. In the wake of his team’s stunning-but-not-really-that-stunning-if-you’ve-been-watching-college-football-for-the-past-five-years loss to Washington last week (and, by the way, do the Huskies really belong in the Top 25? I mean, really?), Carroll has probably taken more criticism than he’s faced in years. Among the top complaints fans are making about The Devil? Let me run them down for you: 1. That he spends too much time surfing and not enough time preparing for games against, like, you know, Washington; 2. That he can win the big ones (see: games against really good teams from the Midwest), but not the little ones (see: games against bad-to-average teams from the Pac-10). 3. That his offense has been OK-but-not-great since he ran Norm Chow out of town. 4. That he ran Norm Chow out of town. 5. That he doesn’t do enough to hold on to his top assistants and therefore is a bad manager and/or a bad boss. 6. And most pointedly, that he is weirdly heads-over-heels in love with freshman quarterback Matt Barkley—and, by extension, not sufficiently snuggly with Barkley’s backups, Aaron Corp and Mitch Mustain. It may sound odd and/or hard-to-believe that Carroll likes Barkley that much more than The Guys He Wishes Didn't Play For Him. But I’ve got to say, it’s pretty clear that Carroll has no use for either Corp or Mustain. In fact, he spent much of the past week throwing Corp under the bus for the Washington loss (“He struggled with anything downfield,” The Devil said) and basically dismissing any questions to as to why Mustain (who went 8-0 as a freshman at Arkansas before transferring to The Devil’s Lair, by the way) wasn’t even warming up while Corp, replacing the injured Barkley, struggled against the Huskies (“He’s our third-string quarterback," snarled The Devil, "and that’s it.”). But here’s the good news for Carroll: His boy Barkley is healthy again! And will start this week! As Carroll told the Los Angeles (snore) Times: "He's going to give us the best chance to win right now. Because Aaron Corp and Mitch Mustain suck.” OK, I added that last part.
• Every once in a while, the powers-that-be in college football make … a good decision. And this week, down South, that’s exactly what happened. After months of negotiations (and, presumably, some good old-fashioned Southern [and speedy?] strong-arming of the folks down in Jacksonville) officials at Florida and Georgia announced that they had come to an agreement that will keep The Game Previously Known as the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in its longtime Jacksonville home through 2016. So why, you may ask, was the game even in danger of moving elsewhere? Here’s why: There are some in the Georgia family (most notably, The Milk-Drinking Mark Richt) who complain about the location because (and here's news) Jacksonville is a whole lot closer to Gainesville than Athens. That’s why Richt had been pushing for the neutral-site series to be changed to a home-and-home format. Moving the game to Atlanta (snore; more on Atlanta on the next page, by the way) was also a possibility. But in the end, common sense—and tradition—won out. Thank God for that. Said Georgia Athletic Director And Cooler Guy Than Mark Richt Damon Evans: "What really stood out to me was the rich tradition and history of this game. This game has been played in Jacksonville for 75-plus years. I truly believe it is one of the top 10 rivalries in the country. Moreover, I think it is part of the fabric of college football." It was a stirring statement. Heck, I bought it. But apparently Richt didn’t. Asked Thursday for his reaction to the news, he said only this: “Here’s my answer. My only focus on that game or any game is just trying to win it and not really being too concerned about where it’s being played. So any question that you ask me about the game, that will be my answer. Refer to answer No. 1. So, sorry.” Get that man a glass of milk.
• Now, here’s a truly novel idea from the home of The Greatest Show in College Football: As you’ve probably heard, ESPN’s iconic College GameDay is heading to Happy Valley this week for Penn State’s big showdown against Iowa. Revenge, folks. Or just a win, please. The game is the first “White Out” of the year in Happy Valley, but for this one, the ever-creative Penn State student body (first choice: Oxford; second choice: PennState) are attempting something that will actually set this whiteout apart from The Many Imitators. And I’m serious. Wondering what this idea is? Well, here it is: As anyone who has ever watched GameDay knows, one of the great joys of the show is checking out the clever/insulting signs that fans come up with to brag about their team and/or insult their opponents. (A few of my favorites from the 2005 Penn State-Ohio State game? “Maurice Clarett Stole My Wallet;” “Alan Zemaitis Will Give You Arthritis”; and the all-time greatest, “A.J. Hawk Plays With My Little Ponies.”). But when GameDay goes on air this Saturday, you won't see any such hilarity. In fact, you might actually see a whole lot of nothing. Or at least a whole lot of white. Because Penn State students are encouraging everyone who attends the airing to just hold up blank white poster boards. It could be cool. It could be awful. But it will certainly be unique.
Quick Hits: Straight And To The Point
• I have been meaning to mention this for some time, folks: The College Football Athenaeum is now on Twitter. I’ve been a bit slow with the “tweeting” so far this season, but I’m going to go full-bore with it this Saturday. So check it out if you get the chance. You can literally stay up to date with my every thought. Won't that be fun? Oh, and also please join the Official TCFA Facebook Group. If you want. I’m not sure why I’m doing these things, other than the fact that everyone else is doing them, and I am a follower.
• ESPN.com senior college football writer Ivan Maisel this week announced that, when he writes, his drink of choice is Yeungling Lager. This is encouraging news, folks.
• Some bad news for you here, folks: The College Football Hall of Fame is moving to SEC country. It was announced this week that the Hall will leave freaking South Bend (I mean, it’s the only The Spiritual Home of the Sport, folks) for … Atlanta. I mean, really? Atlanta? I could have gone along with Tuscaloosa. Or Baton Rouge. Or Athens. But … Atlanta? Home of the “Falcons” (snore)? I am indignant.
• Here’s a story that’s not getting much attention (but should be): Texas quarterback Colt McCoy, who came into the season as just about everyone’s pick to win the Suzuki Heisman Trophy (including Yours Truly) and is Mrs. Your Editor’s Favorite Player, is not playing well. He’s not playing terribly, mind you. But he’s certainly not been as good so far this season as he was last season, when he threw for 3,859 yards and 34 touchdowns against just eight interceptions. So far this season? Well, McCoy has completed 75 of 110 attempts for 859 yards and six touchdowns. He’s also thrown four interceptions, including a couple really bad ones (anyone see that Texas Tech game last week?), and his efficiency ranking of 144.1 places him ... 37th in the country. But the thing that might be most concerning to Longhorns fans is the fact that McCoy has been so bad in the first quarter. As the Austin American-Statesman reported this week, McCoy’s rating in that quarter is a lowly 103.31. And the Longhorns’ offense has generated just 24 first-quarter points. Don't be surprised if these guys lose three games, folks.
• One of the greatest discoveries I’ve made so far this season? Easy: The Paul Finebaum Radio Show. Based out of Birmingham, Finebaum is a newspaper columnist-turned-radio host who has been called "the most influential media member in the SEC." Yes, even more influential than ESPN. But here's the thing, folks: The guy actually knows his stuff. There’s no doubt about that. And he gets awesome guests pretty much every day. Smart guests. Perceptive guests. Well-spoken guests. And then there are his callers. Last week, Finebaum welcomed former ‘Bama coach Gene Stallings to the show (impressive guy, by the way). Long story short, a slight debate broke out on the airwaves about the relative merits of Coach Stallings vs. SABAN. Most folks sided with SABAN. But then came a call from a (apparently not inebriated) gentleman who weighed in thusly: "Coach Stallings, I think Coach Saban is doing a great job at Alabama. But I've got two boys and I'd have to say, I'd rather have them play for you than Coach Saban, because Coach Saban reminds me of the fat guy on 'NYPD Blue.'" I am moving to Alabama.
• I did not watch a second of NFL football last weekend. But I hear that scoreboard at the Dallas Cowboys’ (snore) new stadium (snore) is huge. Only in the NFL (snore) would they build a stadium complete with a de facto television so huge that you don’t have to actually watch the field. I wonder how many commercials per hour Jerry Jones (snore) is showing on that monstrosity. My guess: 59.
• Hate to jump ahead, folks. But just wanted to point this out: Next weekend USC travels up north (comparatively speaking) to take on California. And there’s a whole bunch of folks who are basically saying that the Trojans have no chance of winning this one. But you know what I think? I think the Trojans are going to win by 30. Because they are USC. And Cal is Cal. Which means they are Clemson/Sparty/Okie State/Pitt/Ole Miss.
• Every once in a while, if you let your iTunes music library run free, you come across a song that you realize to be utterly awesome. I am currently sitting on the R8 train from Center City to Chestnut Hill West, and was just a moment ago deep in thought while composing this week’s TCFA. But then my iTunes clicked one song ahead. And so now I am listening to the sweet sounds of a song that, until this very moment, I had never heard. And I’ll tell you this, folks. “The Greatest Sum” by the Avett Brothers is one damn good song. Just wanted to pass that along.