Prognostication
For the past nine years we here at TCFA have asked you, our readers and friends, to participate in the now legendary TCFA Guest Prognostication Competition. Each week, one of you accepts the challenge of picking six games. Those with the two best records after the season then face each other, on New Year's Day, in the TCFA Bowl.
Each year's winner is showered with gifts and, more importantly, is inducted into the TCFA Hall of Fame. Past inductees Joe Borzyn, Mike Unger, Kris McBride, Dan Waters, Michigan Bob Seif and Rick Santangelo stand alongside TCFA Hall of Famers such as LaVar (no last name necessary), Drew Brees, Jack Ham and Woody Hayes. The TCFA College Football Contributors Committee has also inducted such luminaries as Beano Cook, Willie Nelson, Chris Fowler and Benjamin Franklin. In that order.
We ask that each of the prognosticators submit a photo with his/her picks, too.
Editor Picks: This is the End
December 4, 2009
They call it Championship Saturday. But they might as well call it “SEC Championship Saturday.” The Worldwide Leader In Pretending To Care About Other Conferences Besides The SEC has dedicated about 85 percent of its college football coverage to the Florida-Alabama game this wek, leaving the entire college football world to wonder if there are, in fact, any championship games on Championship Saturday besides the SEC Championship. Well, I’m here to tell you, folks: Yes, there are other championship games on Championship Saturday besides the SEC Championship. And while The Worldwide Leader In Lobbying The NCAA For Another Year Of Eligibility For The Chosen One won’t talk about those other games, well, Your Editor will. Because I am a good person.
No. 5 Cincinnati at No. 12 Pitt (De Facto Big East Championship Game): I have pointed out repeatedly to Mrs. Your Editor that, although we are friends with one Scott Burke, Friend of TCFA and Pitt Grad, I cannot root for the Panthers/Scott's Happiness, because when the Panthers/Scott’s Happiness prevail, it is ultimately bad for Penn State recruiting. That being said, I kind of like this Panther team. They’re got some personality. They’ve got some athletes (Western Pennsylvania speed, folks). They’ve got some confidence. Unfortunately for the Panthers, they still have Wannestache. Cincinnati, meanwhile, has Brian “Everything I Say About The Notre Dame Job Is A Lie Until I Accept The Notre Dame Job” Kelly. Advantage: The soon-to-be-coachless Bearcats. Cincinnati 41, Pitt 28
Clemson vs. No. 10 Georgia Tech (ACC Championship Game): It is a statistical impossibility for Clemson to win any kind of “championship” game. They are Clemson. Georgia Tech 34, Clemson 27
No. 22 Nebraska vs. No. 3 Texas (Big 12 Championship Game): Lots of talk about how this Nebraska defense might be the best defense in the country outside of Tuscaloosa, Gainesville and Austin. It’s an interesting statement, given that the best defense in the country is actually located in Iowa City. It is a statistical impossibility for Mrs. Your Editor's Favorie Player to lose this game. Texas 24, Nebraska 10
No. 2 Alabama vs. No. 1 Florida (SEC Championship Game): Yes, I have my issues with the SEC. Yes, I have issues with super-cheesy “SEC! SEC!” chant. I mean, that’s the worst. Yes, I have my issues with the fact that people who live in SEC country actually believe that they have Southern Speed (question: Do people in the Southern Hemisphere run faster than people in the Northern Hemisphere, or do people who live in the northern reaches of the Southern Hemisphere run faster than people in the southern reaches of the Southern Hemisphere?; and if the latter is true, shouldn't we call it "Equatorial Speed?"). Mostly, I have issues with The Worldwide Leader In Believing In Equatorial Speed’s endless sucking up to Their Meal Ticket. I mean, enough. Enough! That being said, Alabama and Florida are two fine football teams, and they will play a fine football game. And then they’ll all go home and not read books. Alabama 21, Florida 20
Wisconsin at Hawaii (The Horrible Idea for Wisconsin Game): There is absolutely no reason for Wisconsin to play this game. None. What do they have to gain? Besides a trip to Hawaii, I mean? I promise you this, folks: The Badgers are going to look Non-Equatorial Slow. Wisconsin 14, Hawaii 2
Guest Prognosticator Standings
Michigan Bob Seif aka Michigan Bob: 6-0 … Battling for the 2009 TCFA Championship this wekeend against ...
Patrick J. Hyland Sr. aka Your Editor’s Mentor: 6-0 … a guy from Ohio! That's right, folks. Ohio vs. Michigan for the TCFA title. Northern Mental Speed.
Scott Burke aka Dave Wannstedt: 5-1 ... Confident of a Pitt victory on Saturday.
Dan Hughes aka the Builder of the Borzone: 4-2 ... Laments the end of the season. I'm with you, Dan.
Dan Waters aka the Pride of Park Ridge: 4-2 … Might have to play wideout for the Eagles this week. They don't have anybody else.
Mike Unger: 4-2 … Will say good-bye to college football season in the best possible location: The Beautiful Wissahickon Valley.
Dr. Thomas Slattery aka "Slats": 4-2 … Ditto?
Ted Donnelly aka Bobby Clarke.: 3-3 ... His advice for hockey-watching novices? "Watch the small black disk."
Esteemed Architect Patrck J. Hyland Jr.: 3-3 ... Will soon be father to Son of Estseemed Architect Patrick J. Hyland Jr.
Longhorn Chris Shelton, aka Western Travel Correspondent: 3-3 ... If he had a Suzuki Heisman vote, it would probably not go to Tim Tebow.
Scott Walters aka Enormously Depressed Browns Fan: 1-5 ... I wonder if he still watches the Browns. And if he does, I wonder why he still watches the Browns.
Interested in our challenge?
If you’re interested in participating in The 2009 TCFA Guest Prognostication Challenge, please feel free to contact Your Editor here. Remember, each year’s winner gets wonderful prizes — and the honor of being inducted into the TCFA Hall of Fame.
